16th
Jul
Is running away a too easy option? part 2
Posted by Mark Raw in Childcare Industry
In my opinion, I feel that the child in care feels very differently. They have possibly had access to all these experience well before they were ready. This is usually under the tutelage of the older kids in the care homes as there is nothing else to do.
As far as they are concerned they know what to expect as recourse and what they are doing. They have factored in being grounded in a house they don’t want to be at, with other kids that they don’t like, or are scared of, so why not run away? It makes simple sense, and anyway “X did it and he was ok. I get to do what I when I want, your not nagging me to do things, I don’t have to see X or Y at the home, I get to see my friends and be normal”.
The phrase “I’ll have to tell your social worker/keyworker/Home Manger” does not have the same weight to a child in care as that of someone not in care of ‘telling your parents’ does. Hence the reaction “I’m off”. And in the more extreme cases “….and I’m not coming back”.
It has got to be a monumental upheaval from what they see as their normality for children who have been placed in care, either voluntarily or by court order – the need to adjust to the new rules and regulations that are thrust upon them (some good some bad). All this when they have probably come from a background of poor, if any, boundaries and enforcement of these, poor family relationships and role models. The child will resort back to our primaleval actions of ‘fight or flight’. As we know in most children’s homes and foster carer’s homes there are consequences and physical interventions for the ‘fight’ aspect which will feed into them making the next decision of ‘flight’.
Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on your viewpoint, children are very resilient beings and the majority of them manage to keep themselves safe until they make the right decision to return back home or they find another place of safety. However some children will never return, sucked into the darker side of society and never seen again.
Given that the majority of these children who do run away do so from care homes and care environments, it is all our responsibility and more so those who work in, manage and run these establishments, to take a lead role to see that the child has no reason to run away. And, in addition, to try to educated the children into the dangers of their actions and help them to see that there are other options and choices to make. There is even the option to set up ‘safe houses’ so when it all gets too much they can run away in an organised manner, defuse themselves in a safe and secure house and return when they are ready.
Radical maybe, but a way forward. After all, where do most of our own kids run away to after an argument? Grandparents, aunties, neighbours, a friend.s house…. Why should kids in care be no different and not have that place of safety.
14th
Jul
Is running away a too easy option
Posted by Mark Raw in Childcare Industry
I have been reading the Children’s Society report “Make Runaways Safe” on the Childrens and Young Peoples web site, http://www.cypnow.co.uk/Social_Care/article/1079987/runaways-must-seen-risk/ and within the article is a link to the report at http://www.childrenssociety.org.uk/sites/default/files/tcs/make_runaways_safe_report.pdf
A very interesting read, of which there seems to be no surprises in their findings from my experiences from working within the Childrens residential sector and also being a long term foster career for my own local authority. I have looked after some challenging children who themselves have run away at times.
The Children’s Society, who have produced the third in a series of reports, have been working with numerous agencies who are involved with runaways up and down the county over the last 25 years. It comes as no shock that they have seen a significant rise in numbers in those years
The report breaks the 100,000 runaways each year into five groups, with the “Children in Care” group being three times more likely to run away, but only making up two percent of the total. A third of records showed that they faced “Difficulties at School” and/or “Children involved in Drugs / Alcohol or in trouble with the police”, those “who’s parents’ relationships have broken down” and then those “who have or are considered to have a disability or learning disability”.
I can only comment with experience on those within the care system. In my opinion the national systems that children’s homes are required to run to are in some ways set up to leave the children, in their minds, with no choice but to run away. I have looked into the reasons why and usually end up coming back to one answer. In the child’s mind it is the only option that is guaranteed to allow them to do what they wish to and we all know how focused a teenager can be. It’s part of their make up at that age.
Let me explain – all too often there are too many hoops, regulations and “Company / House Rules” to struggle through or negotiate round to allow the child to lead the same life as his/her peers that are not in care or are like our own children at home. This can be from coming back later than agreed after being out with friends, going in to town, staying out at friend’s a party that they probably should not be at etc etc…. It is all real life and all part of growing up.
However when our own children behave like that, they get grounded, pocket money stopped, Xbox’s taken off them for a week or so etc etc… but they know that we still love them unconditionally, and we are only protecting them and doing what’s best as parents to help them grow up.